"Sure, it’s different when people say things about your creative output, but you also have to disassociate, in some level, your creative output from yourself, even if what you produce is personal. You have to realize that while people may think that they are attacking you personally, they are really attacking your work. And you also must remember that your work is not you; it is separate, and it should be."

—Tyler Coates (via veraville)

On one hand: Agreed, yes. This is how I’ve come to deal with the nastiest/attackiest criticisms of my writing, and it helps a lot. On the other: Where does that leave all the nice things people say? Shouldn’t I disassociate myself from them, too? (And by that I mean: Shouldn’t we all?)

A mild sort of impostor syndrome has always made me prone to taking criticism more seriously than praise in all areas of my life. But on a good day, when someone out in the world says something positive about something I’ve created, that can be a really great feeling. Still, by my own logic, I should no sooner feel a swell of pride over that compliment than I should feel shamefaced over a really nasty dig—because even though in both instances the comments are meant to be taken personally, in neither case are they really about “me.”

So there’s two options: Take praise less seriously, or take (attack-style) criticism more seriously. It can be hard enough to hold up that divide between “who you are” and “what you do” when someone’s being incredibly nasty, but it might be even harder when someone’s being incredibly sweet.