Hey now, Facebook! I’m at work right now, brah!
Why yes, I did flag this Facebook ad as “offensive,” but only because “DEEPLY AND UNNECESSARILY CREEPY” was not an option.
“You could help Aladdin Sane!”
Are Pell Grants the thing where the government gives you little puppies? If so then yes I would like to qualify.
No, Facebook. No no no no no.
It’s like *
Twitter is the friend who you really just wish would shut up most of the time and that you never actually liked that much to begin with but occasionally says super hilarious things and also pretty much always laughs at your jokes so you don’t want to ditch her completely.
Facebook is the girl you befriended sophomore year in college because she was like totally crazy and totally unlike anyone you knew in high school and who you always had a hard time telling your parents about but has weirdly mellowed out in the last few years and is now married with a few kids and dogs but she still knows all the good dirt on everyone you used to know.
And Tumblr is your friend who’s smart and funny and knows interesting people but often doesn’t pick up your phone when you call so even though you like her a lot you’re kind of feeling increasingly like what’s the point? But when she does come hang out you’re like aaaah we should do this more often why don’t we do this more often?
* Not based on any actual friends of mine, just FYI, friends of mine.
Annnd Facebook’s already starting in with this stuff, of course. Has anyone ever done a stunt deal where they plan their whole wedding via targeted internet advertising? Hey, maybe I can get the write-a-book thing and the get-married thing done in one fell swoop. GREAT IDEA RIGHT
Frankly, given all the other crap they thing I want to click on/buy/become, I’m surprised Facebook even thinks I can add!
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- Me: facebook would likely be surprised that we are a couple, based on what it thinks of us
UM YEAH HIDDEN IN HIS FACEFATS

